Who was that Bearded Man??

First, let me start by saying I commend the efforts of Rob Pattinson and all of the celebs that took the time to help raise money for the Hope for Haiti Telethon! And a huge thanks to all of the Twi-fans that did their part to contribute to the $57 million that was raised to help that devastated country.



That being said…now lets move on to the fuckery that was Rob Pattinson showing up to said, Worldwide Televised event looking like some sort of Charles Manson, Unabomber love child.


On the morning I popped over to Robsessed and saw that our sexy boy’s participation in this event had been confirmed. I felt like a little girl anticipating Christmas morning. Thoughts of sugar covered S.O.F. Rob was dancing in my head.

The drought would soon be over. The rain of RPattz would soon be coming to quench my thirst. I envisioned singing in the rain! I would stick my tongue out and catch the Robby drops on my tongue…well ok, so I would lick the screen, but a girl can use her imagination, right!?


Then, Friday finally arrived. I was glued to my laptop waiting for the imminent papz pics of Rob arriving to the studio. I was practically buzzing with excitement, ok so maybe it was the vibrating sparkle peen that was buzzing me, but you get my point. Then it happened…the first pic’s broke. Oh my gawd...what the hell is this shit?

My beautiful Rob looked like some sort of deranged psychopath being walked into the state penitentiary. I thought at any moment we’d get a pic of "Security Agent Protect Rob’s Ass" throwing cuffs on Rob’s wrist and a coat over his head. WTF, Rob? All he needed now was an orange jump suit.

I held hope that maybe the telethon coordinators had a staff and hair and makeup folks that would hack that shit off his face but NO…that wasn’t the case.

As the telethon aired I saw Rob, my gorgeous squared jaw, beautiful lipped, soft skinned, fantasy fall apart before my very eyes. I wanted to cry real tears as I heard my Robby’s silky voice come forth from the hair ball that sat atop his shoulders. It looked like a walking talking, sparkle peen toting version of something my cat hacked up. The lips...gone. The jawline...hidden. Why, Rob? Why?

I closed my eyes and heard the words…Twittah updates, Facebook pages…ahhh yes…that’s my baby. But when I opend my eyes….WHAT THE HELL…close your eyes, close your eyes….bleach, bleach, I need to burn out the images of Rob looking like that.

I won't even comment on the clothes, because well, honestly, I never set my expectations very high when it comes to Rob's wardrobe choices. I have just come to prepare myself for his dumpster diver fashion flare.

But the face...now that's another story. As a money dropping, blog reading, career supporting fan...I EXPECT to see the panty dropper face during major appearances. On his own personal time, he can look however he wants, but in a scheduled public setting...that's fan time as far as I am concerned and I want my fangirl monies worth. Am I wrong, ladies?

But loving Rob, as I still do and always will, I am going to chalk this up to just getting a little to relaxed during his rare time off. I decided to put together a little guide for Rob to use for future appearances, just in case he needs a reminder of what he should or should not look like during NATIONAL TELEVISION APPEARANCES.

A little yummy scruff is good

Grizzly Adams is Bad

Visible Lip/Tongue Action is Good

Hiding those lucious smackers is bad

This is just wrong, Rob. It's just wrong. Are you using this beard to hide from papz and fans? Ok, I get that, but you could at least trim it to a neater, EVEN look. Are you suffering with a mega grunge gnarliness for your role in Bel Ami? Ok, I can live with that too but CLEAN AND BRUSHED goes a long way.

For whatever reason you feel it necessary to sport this nasty face bush right now, you could have at least compensated by wearing a nice pair of kickass peen revealing jeans, that hugged that ass you don't have. I could have handled that. But this...this...it's all fail. Total fail! Please come back Rob, please be this sexy smiling, hair fisting man again...

 

I really miss him!!

Always & Never ~ Edward Interview Chapter 11

 ALWAYS & NEVER

So, what do you think the chances are that Edward will walk in here all smiley and chipper today? Slim to none?? Yeah, that’s what I’m thinking too. *dramatic exhale*


I bought him a little gift, because not only did I promise him one on twitter last week, after he said so many sweet things about me and my sexy shoes, but I know he has just had a really fucked up week.

So, there is this little adult store near the office and they make these balloons things. Ya’ know the kind like you see on Valentine’s day, where they put the teddy bear inside the balloon? Well, this store has balloons shaped like cherries. They put the gift inside the balloon, so in order to get the gift out, the recipient has to “pop the cherry”. LMAO! I hope he isn’t too fucking emo to appreciate it. After all it’s filled with cinnamon lollipops and packs of Marlboro lights.


Krysti: Hi Sweety! So, the dance was…well…but the party…was…ummm…I bought you a gift. *holds the massive balloon towards him*



Edward: *eyes light up smirking* Thanks, Krys. This is about the best fucking thing that’s happened to me in a long time.


Krysti: You’re welcome. You said some very sweet things about me on twitter when last week and I just wanted to show you that I noticed.


Edward: *gets up walks around desk and hugs Krysti tightly, holding the embrace a bit longer than necessary, eventually retreats back to his chair and shrugs*


Krysti: *with a tender look on her face* That was really sweet, Edward, but if you needed a hug that bad, you could have just asked me.


Edward: *smiles timidly avoiding Krysti’s gaze*


Krysti: So, do you want to talk about any of the stuff that happened at the dance or the party?


Edward: *runs hands through hair nervously* I thought my job was just to answer questions


Krysti: Well, since you were being such a sweetheart, I was going to give you the option to tell me what you wanted to tell me without the spanish inquistion but…since you want to play it like that…How stupid did you feel when you saw the condoms taped to the car? Do you seriously think Bella would just stand there and let Riley take condoms from YOU so they could have sex?


Edward: *runs hands through hair nervously, scratching the back of his head* Fuck, Krys’ I never really took hat into consideration. I was too focused on Riley and what the fuck he was asking for. The only thing I could think of was HIS attention towards Bella and my need to protect her from them.



Krysti: Bella said her and Riley are going to DATE casually, how are you going to deal with that?


Edward: *licks lips, raises eyebrows* It’s going to be pretty fucking hard for her to date him at all, casually or not, when she never fucking leaves my side. *chuckles*


Krysti: So, do you have a specific plan to win her back or are you just going to wing or what?



Edward: *smirks* I really don’t have a plan per say. I really just need to get back to the fucking basics with Bella, the way we were when we used to spend twenty-four seven together. Talk is cheap, I need to shut my fucking my mouth already and just start showing her how I feel.


Krysti: And you aren’t worried at all about Riley? I have to tell you, when he was here last week… well, lets just say he is pretty smooth guy.


Edward: *purses lips, narrows eyes at Krysti* Fuck him. If you think he’s so fucking smooth, why don’t you just take him off Bella’s hands then? *smirks*


Krysti: Well, I just might. He has this little hair thing that he does the his hands and…well, on second thought, you do have that thing you do with your…well... umm *bites bottom lip* So, anyway, what if she shuts you do, Edward. Have you considered that possibility?


Edward: *licks lips, runs hands through hair, chuckles smugly* C’mon Krys, lets be honest here, I am Edward Cullen. I can guarantee even you wouldn’t turn me down when I turn it on.


Krysti: Hmm, I wouldn’t be so cocky, if I were you. From what I here, what you’re turning on might be “too little too late”. *shrugs*


Edward: *head falls forward looking at the ground, whispers* I know, I was just trying to give myself the confidence I need to try to earn her back. *shrugs*



Krysti: *sighs* You’re breaking my heart today kid. But I know you can do this. You will have to go all out though. It has to be you’re “A” game on steroids. Just don’t fuck it up because she isn’t going to keep forgiving you. *tosses him a letter opener* Here, until you can convince Bella to let you back in her pants, you can at least pop that cherry to get your gifts inside. *grins*



Edward: *smiles sheepishly* Krys’ you aren’t telling me anything I don’t already know. Thanks for this. *pulls letter open back, popping the balloon, licks lips, smirks* This may be the only cherry I’m popping for a while. *stands to leave*



Krysti: *walks around desk, puts hands on his sides of his face* Don’t give up. Be the best friend you can be and don’t forget to tell her that she’s beautiful. Girls like that. *reaches arms around his waist, hugging him* And feel free to come get hugs anytime you need them.


Edward: *squeezes Krysti tightly* Thanks, Krys’ I really fucking needed that.


See, I’m not a total hoor. I actually hugged him TWICE without trying to grope any pieces or parts. That kid just seriously rips my heart out when he gets all sensitive and emotional. I worry that he doesn’t realize how hard this might be. Edward Cullen has never had any real competition, at anything ever, especially when it comes to girls. But that damn Riley, he just so damn sweet. I have a feeling this could get sticky before it’s all over. Not that I am one to complain about hot, sticky men but I worry about where my sweet little Textward will land when the dust settles.

Don’t forget to let me know what you think. I know you’ve heard it a million times before, but I really do love getting your comments. I had 800 hits after the Riley interview but only 6 comments. *sad face* PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE let me know you stopped by!


Thanks again to Robmusement for her amazing banners! Click her name to check out her awesome blog!


We are all on Twitter. @Bostongirl1212 @krystih @Robmusement @Textward_JMF @unhealthyaddict If you follow us please don’t be a stranger. Tweet by and say hi!

Always & Never: RILEY Interview

 Riley from
Always & Never

This is an exciting day. It’s taking every ounce of self control I have to keep from dancing around my office and you all know I have ZERO self control when it comes to these hot, sex-a-licious boys! RAWR!!


B-Girl, my bestie, the best fanfic author in the world, the best dressed, prettiest hair, biggest boobs, funniest sense of humor, most beautiful woman in the whole world (yes, I’m kissing her ass on purpose) was able to arrange an interview with RILEY…TODAY! *covers ears expecting fan girl squeels*

He is on his way down to my office RIGHT NOW…OMG, OMG, OMG! Don’t get me wrong, he isn’t as yummy as Edward and definitely doesn’t have Edward’s fistable hair that I fantasize about during my private “twilighting” moments, but HOLY SMOKES BATMAN…Riley is totally lick-a-licious! Have you seen the abs on that man…makes me want to…UNF!!!

Krysti: *stands up and quickly walks around her desk with her hand outstretched* Hello, Riley! Thank you so much for agreeing to meet with me. *motions to chair* Please have a seat. Make yourself comfortable. *watches him walk to chair, leans forward and rubs his lower back and ass* Oh, you must have leaned up against something dirty. *smirks to herself*


Riley: *looks back at Krysti, with mouth open but recovers with a chuckle* Did you just grab my ass? Emmett warned me about you.


Krysti: *raises eyebrows with a mischievous grin* What else did Emmett tell you about me? *raises hand to stop him* Wait don’t answer that…*giggles* Soooo, how do you like living in Forks?


Riley: *winks* I only heard good stuff from Emmett, no worries. Forks? Trust me, it’s growing on me.


Krysti: Would a certain pretty brunette have something to do with that?


Riley: *nods, smiling* She definitely could. But, I don’t want get my hopes up just yet. I know she has a lot of stuff she needs to work out with Cullen.


Krysti: *raises eyebrow curiously* I heard that Emmett gave you a little background on Bella and Edward’s relationship or lack there of. Has Bella told you about any of the history between them?


Riley: *shakes head, purses lips* Emmett told me enough to give me the gist of their “friendship” *does air quotes with his fingers, shrugs* I really don’t think it’s my place to talk about their business. As for Bella, we had a chance to talk at the party. I’m sure you’ll be hearing all about that very soon *smiles*


Krysti: I have to ask this because a lot of the readers are wondering if you’re for real. You seem awfully sweet and too good to be true. Are you really that guy or is it just an act to get a piece of ass. From what I hear, Bella has a really nice ass and likes to wear clothes that draw attention to it. So, it’s not like I would blame you if that was your plan. You do have a dick after all. *glances down and nods in approval at the large visible package under his jeans*



Riley: *blushes, nodding* Yes, I can see that Bella’s attire has changed a bit since Cullen has been around. *chuckles* And yes, I do have a dick, last time I checked. She does have a great body. But, it’s not really about all that. Bella is probably the coolest chick I have meet in a long time. The whole gang pretty much welcomed me in with open arms and I wouldn’t fuck things up by lying or not being myself. *blushes* I am just a regular guy. I can see how some chicks might hesitant because they’ve probably been fucked over by some guy that pretended to be something they’re not. You know Krysti, the whole wolf in sheep’s clothing? I guess I’m just a nice guy. But they do say nice guys usually finish last.


Krysti: *grins at how adorable his blushing is* Do you worried about finishing last, Sweety? Is that going to make you change your approach with Bella? And what about Edward? Do you worry that all of this is going to affect your friendship with him?


Riley: *leans forward, resting elbows on knees* Wow, B-Girl was right. I should have listened to her. You really don’t hold back. *laughs* I really don’t have an approach with Bella. I can see that the way she acts around Cullen is different then the way she acts around me. I’m just going with the flow. I’m not going to get ahead of myself. I really just met her, but things have been going well with us just hanging out. As for Cullen, he is really only my friend through association. But, I’m not one to screw over my friends, especially over a girl. However, from what I hear, he had his chance and he denied her.


Krysti: *takes a deep breath* Ok, enough about Bella and Edward. I want to know a little more about you. *leans forward licking lips* I heard you were quite the dance partner. Did you take lessons or is it just natural rhythm? *pretends to be deep in thought* Isn’t there a saying about good dancers? Something about…a man that’s good on the dance floor is usually good in…hmmm? I just can’t seem to remember the rest of that saying…oh well *shrugs, gives him a suggestive look*


Riley: *smiles sheepishly* Dancing just come naturally, I guess. I’m really into music so I just get out there and let my hips guide hers…I guess you could say some guys just instinctively use their natural…uhh…rhythm. *grins*


Krysti: *slowly walks around to the front of her desk, leans against it in front of his chair* This is kind of random, but I want to know what your weakness is it comes to women? I mean are you a boob man, an ass man, a leg man or maybe something else? For example, I know this guy that has a thing for sexy shoes. I really want to know what gets you hot, Riley? *winks*

Riley: *raises eyebrows* Seriously? *blushes* I will tell you but you have to promise you won’t laugh. *chuckles nervously, leans forward.* Krysti, the thing that drives me nuts is a girl’s hair. Long, shiny, soft hair. Girls use the best shit in their hair. It makes them smell so damn good. My favorite thing to do… *licks lips, leans in closer* When I am kissing a beautiful woman, I… eh, Krysti, it would just be much easier to show you. *blushes, stands up nervously, taking a step towards Krysti.* Don’t worry Krysti, I will be gentle with you. *takes Krysti’s face tenderly in his hands, brushing thumbs across cheek bones, sliding fingers to the back of her neck, leans in, tilts head to the right, slides fingers up into her hair at the base of her neck, tugging at it lightly… *


B-Girl: *walks into the room smiling* Hey guys, how’s the interview…What the Fuck, Krysti. I can’t trust you with anyone.


Krysti: *shakes head, trying to regain focus* Ummm, uhhh…*holds up hands in surrender* Riley was just demonstrating this…uhhh…hair…kiss…ummm…thing. I didn’t…


B-Girl: *rolls eyes* C’mon, Krysti, are you really going to try to blame this on Riley?


Riley: Hey, B-Girl. This is totally my fault. Krysti was totally innocent. I was just trying to show her something. *sighs* It seems like a lot of innocent things I’ve done lately have been taken completely out of context. *shrugs and shakes head*


Krysti: *whispers to Riley* I swear she either has my office bugged or she just happens to have the worst timing in the world. *sighs, glares at B-Girl* Well, it looks like the interview is over. Thank you for coming by and chatting today, Riley. I really hope we can do that again...soon! *bites lip and winks*


*Riley smiles, gives Krysti a small wave and walks out of the office with B-Girl*

OMG!! Did you see that? That boy has got some seriously smooth moves. Damn, that B-Girl and her fucked up timing. UGH! Edward Cullen better step up his game because he has never been that smooth. Even that little JMF incident, that we shall not speak of, didn’t start out THAT smooth. I heard that Riley is constantly just a little better than our boy Edward... in pretty much everything. After that little hair…fisting…*pants*…move…Riley just pulled…I just might have to agree. Whew! My knees are still weak, my panties are melted and I still can’t catch my breath and he didn’t even get to first base. Damn, that boy is good!

Chapter 11 of Always & Never should be posted by Sunday!

 Follow us on Twitter for updates info @Bostongirl1212 @krystih @Robmusement @Textward_JMF

Tell me what you thought of the little interview, girls. I also want to know what you ladies think I should ask Edward in the next interview. I love all your comments. You know I’m a comment hoor! Hugs, kisses and whatever makes YOU hot! *mwah*

Always & Never Chapter 10 ~ Edward Post Interview

Always Screwed ~ Never Fucked

*Krysti is sitting with her elbows rested on her desk, holding her clasped hands up to her chin as her head rests on top of them. She exhales dramatically and shakes her head side to side*

*Edward is slouched down in the chair across from Krysti with his head completely tilted back, staring at the ceiling. One hand is fisted into his hair, the other is holding a cigarette that he hasn’t taken a drag from in several minutes*

 Krysti: Edward? Are you going to speak to me at all or just sit here admiring my ceiling all afternoon?



Edward: *raises head looking at Krysti* It is a pretty nice fucking ceiling *smirks*


Krysti: Alright smart ass *rolls eyes* We can start off with something easy, ok? Talk to me about your costume. I heard you had a rather interesting name badge. What type of doctor were you exactly?


Edward: *evil grin* Edward Cullen MD, Gynecologist


Krysti: Hmm? With all the “precautionary measures” you were taking before that dance I was starting to wonder if you were a Urologist. I heard you took a little detour on the way to Lauren’s to…uh…prepare yourself again, right? Where exactly did you go? Did you seriously jerk-off in your car? In your car, seriously? Is that something you do often?

*B~girl starts laughing so hard she rolls off the couch, tears streaming down her face*


*Edward and Krysti look at her quizzically*


Krysti: WTH, B~Girl, you promised that you would stay quiet and we wouldn’t even know you were here.


B~Girl: *covers her mouth, continuing to laugh her ass off*


Edward: *looks at B~Girl on the floor and back at Krysti, rolling eyes* Fuck no I wasn’t jacking off in my car. What the fuck is wrong with you Krysti? I just went for a drive to clear my head before the dance. *shakes head at Krysti in disgust*


Krysti: *shrugs with a smirk* When you danced with Bella, why didn’t you just tell her that you cared about her? Why the fuck do you keep putting it off? If you would just fucking tell her how you feel, you wouldn’t go through all this other bullshit. * reaches across desk, picking up a thick wooden ruler*


Edward: *runs hand nervously through hair* It’s not like I had any fucking control at that time, Krys. Fucking JMF was on to something there. He knew something I didn’t. I had to fucking let go and let him fucking find out. And just when I did, Bella fucking screamed for Riley and that shit threw me.


Krysti: *twirls ruler between her fingers* What if she won’t forgive you Edward? What if that was the final straw and she doesn’t give you another chance.


Edward: *releases a low growl, clenches teeth* Don’t even fucking joke about that. I will find a way to make her see how I feel about her. Trust me.


Krysti: *sighs deeply* I hope you’re right, Edward. I’m not so sure though. She saw you with Lauren’s mouth clamped on to your dick. That’s going to be a hard visual for her to get past. Why the fuck would you let Lauren “the skank” Mallory suck your dick anyway. That was very disappointing, Edward.


Edward: *glares at Krysti* It’s not like I fucking asked her to. She was on a fucking mission. *sighs* Maybe it was because I was drunk *shrugs* Maybe it was because I was so fucking devastated *shakes head* Maybe it’s because I have been so fucking lonely lately. I was just trying to feel something. I really don’t fucking know. It doesn’t matter, my dick knew it wasn’t Bella and as we both no it wouldn’t fucking comply.


Krysti: Damn, how am I supposed to bust your balls for this when you just fucking broke my heart like that. *takes a deep breath* Sweety, what’s done is done. You just have to look forward. Knowing you like I do, I can only assume you have something in mind to turn this around and fix this shit with her, right?


Edward: *a look of hope flashes through his eyes. Holds up cell phone, shaking in front of Krysti* I have a few things in mind *winks*


Krysti: *smiles at him* I can’t wait to see what you have planned for her. But you better make it damn good because Riley is brining his 'A' game. He even drove up in his white Cadillac or should I say, rode up on his white horse *gives Edward a pointed look* and don’t even get me started on how sexy that boy is…I have a new pair of shoes I would like to show him, up close and personal. *looks at B-Girl* you should let me set up an interview with Riley. I bet the readers would love to know what he has to say.


B-Girl: *shrugs* Sure, I can set that up if you’d like *B-Girl stands indicating that the interview is over*


Edward: *glances down at Krysti’s shoes biting bottom lip, grabs B-Girls arm* Hey, what the fuck I thought these interviews were exclusively between Krysti and me.


B-Girl: *gives Edward a pointed look* Krysti can interview whomever she wants. If the readers leave comments saying they want that we will definitely do it.


Krysti: *smirks devilishly at Edward* Yep, Krysti can interview whomever she wants. *winks and licks lips*


*B-girl and Edward make their way to the door*


Krysti: *clenches teeth* So, what are you two doing tonight?


B-Girl: *giggles* Edward and I are doing the regular, martinis and reviews in my office. I thought you were planning on joining us tonight. Edward and I have a few things to attend to. Why don’t you stop by in about... an hour *looks at Edward for confirmation on time*


Edward: Better make that two hours *smirks at Krysti, places hand on B-Girl’s lower back leading her out the door*


Krysti: *growls* WTF? She is such a lucky fucking bitch. Why do I let him get to me like that? Duh, because he is hot as mother fucker, that’s why! That’s it…I’m going shoe shopping, right now.






Sooo....did you all catch that line about maybe getting an interview with Riley IF THE READERS LEAVE A COMMENT saying they would like to see that. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE leave me a comment saying you want that so I can interview him next week. Ok, so my reasons for interviewing him are completely selfish but c'mon, help a girl out. He is hot...I bet he likes sexy shoes too...RAWR!! He's yummy... SO GO NOW...LEAVE ME A COMMENT!! You know I'm a comment hoor!! Love & Kisses ~Krysti

Much love to Robmusement for another kickass banner! You are one talented woman! Go check out her blog. Just click on her name, it will take you there!

Don't forget to follow us on Twitter. @Bostongirl1212 @krystih @Robmusement @Textward_JMF @unhealthyaddict

*Textward_JMF is Edward from Always & Never. You should really go follow him on twitter. He is such a badboy when he wants to be. *wink*