So, what do you think the chances are that Edward will walk in here all smiley and chipper today? Slim to none?? Yeah, that’s what I’m thinking too. *dramatic exhale*
I bought him a little gift, because not only did I promise him one on twitter last week, after he said so many sweet things about me and my sexy shoes, but I know he has just had a really fucked up week.
So, there is this little adult store near the office and they make these balloons things. Ya’ know the kind like you see on Valentine’s day, where they put the teddy bear inside the balloon? Well, this store has balloons shaped like cherries. They put the gift inside the balloon, so in order to get the gift out, the recipient has to “pop the cherry”. LMAO! I hope he isn’t too fucking emo to appreciate it. After all it’s filled with cinnamon lollipops and packs of Marlboro lights.
Krysti: Hi Sweety! So, the dance was…well…but the party…was…ummm…I bought you a gift. *holds the massive balloon towards him*
Edward: *eyes light up smirking* Thanks, Krys. This is about the best fucking thing that’s happened to me in a long time.
Krysti: You’re welcome. You said some very sweet things about me on twitter when last week and I just wanted to show you that I noticed.
Edward: *gets up walks around desk and hugs Krysti tightly, holding the embrace a bit longer than necessary, eventually retreats back to his chair and shrugs*
Krysti: *with a tender look on her face* That was really sweet, Edward, but if you needed a hug that bad, you could have just asked me.
Edward: *smiles timidly avoiding Krysti’s gaze*
Krysti: So, do you want to talk about any of the stuff that happened at the dance or the party?
Edward: *runs hands through hair nervously* I thought my job was just to answer questions
Krysti: Well, since you were being such a sweetheart, I was going to give you the option to tell me what you wanted to tell me without the spanish inquistion but…since you want to play it like that…How stupid did you feel when you saw the condoms taped to the car? Do you seriously think Bella would just stand there and let Riley take condoms from YOU so they could have sex?
Edward: *runs hands through hair nervously, scratching the back of his head* Fuck, Krys’ I never really took hat into consideration. I was too focused on Riley and what the fuck he was asking for. The only thing I could think of was HIS attention towards Bella and my need to protect her from them.
Krysti: Bella said her and Riley are going to DATE casually, how are you going to deal with that?
Edward: *licks lips, raises eyebrows* It’s going to be pretty fucking hard for her to date him at all, casually or not, when she never fucking leaves my side. *chuckles*
Krysti: So, do you have a specific plan to win her back or are you just going to wing or what?
Edward: *smirks* I really don’t have a plan per say. I really just need to get back to the fucking basics with Bella, the way we were when we used to spend twenty-four seven together. Talk is cheap, I need to shut my fucking my mouth already and just start showing her how I feel.
Krysti: And you aren’t worried at all about Riley? I have to tell you, when he was here last week… well, lets just say he is pretty smooth guy.
Edward: *purses lips, narrows eyes at Krysti* Fuck him. If you think he’s so fucking smooth, why don’t you just take him off Bella’s hands then? *smirks*
Krysti: Well, I just might. He has this little hair thing that he does the his hands and…well, on second thought, you do have that thing you do with your…well... umm *bites bottom lip* So, anyway, what if she shuts you do, Edward. Have you considered that possibility?
Edward: *licks lips, runs hands through hair, chuckles smugly* C’mon Krys, lets be honest here, I am Edward Cullen. I can guarantee even you wouldn’t turn me down when I turn it on.
Krysti: Hmm, I wouldn’t be so cocky, if I were you. From what I here, what you’re turning on might be “too little too late”. *shrugs*
Edward: *head falls forward looking at the ground, whispers* I know, I was just trying to give myself the confidence I need to try to earn her back. *shrugs*
Krysti: *sighs* You’re breaking my heart today kid. But I know you can do this. You will have to go all out though. It has to be you’re “A” game on steroids. Just don’t fuck it up because she isn’t going to keep forgiving you. *tosses him a letter opener* Here, until you can convince Bella to let you back in her pants, you can at least pop that cherry to get your gifts inside. *grins*
Edward: *smiles sheepishly* Krys’ you aren’t telling me anything I don’t already know. Thanks for this. *pulls letter open back, popping the balloon, licks lips, smirks* This may be the only cherry I’m popping for a while. *stands to leave*
Krysti: *walks around desk, puts hands on his sides of his face* Don’t give up. Be the best friend you can be and don’t forget to tell her that she’s beautiful. Girls like that. *reaches arms around his waist, hugging him* And feel free to come get hugs anytime you need them.
Edward: *squeezes Krysti tightly* Thanks, Krys’ I really fucking needed that.
See, I’m not a total hoor. I actually hugged him TWICE without trying to grope any pieces or parts. That kid just seriously rips my heart out when he gets all sensitive and emotional. I worry that he doesn’t realize how hard this might be. Edward Cullen has never had any real competition, at anything ever, especially when it comes to girls. But that damn Riley, he just so damn sweet. I have a feeling this could get sticky before it’s all over. Not that I am one to complain about hot, sticky men but I worry about where my sweet little Textward will land when the dust settles.
Don’t forget to let me know what you think. I know you’ve heard it a million times before, but I really do love getting your comments. I had 800 hits after the Riley interview but only 6 comments. *sad face* PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE let me know you stopped by!
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