Sunday, December 18, 2011

Twas the Night of Rob's Scandal

Bostongirl and I were supposed to be wrapping present last night but as usual we got sidetracked by Rob. We started talking about all the latest news or lack there of, and before we knew it, we had the complete story of the recent Sarah Roemer scandal all summed up and set to the tone of
"Twas the Night Before Christmas"

Oh, the lengths we will go to avoid wrapping all those gifts!
Hope you enjoy!

Twas the Night of Rob's Scandal 

Twas two weeks into drought, and all through blogs
Not a rumor was stirring, not even in on the comment logs.
Old pic’s were posted, so he’s knows we still care,
In hopes that new Holy Hotness soon would be there.

The fangirls were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of Edward Cullen danced in their heads.
And B-girl with her tablet and I with the HP on my lap,
Had just settled down for a long winter re-cap.

When out on Twitter there arose such a clatter,
We logged on immediately to see what was the matter.
Through our timeline we flew like a flash,
Tore through the posts with hopes of new pics to add to our stash.

His eyes on the breast of a new Hollywood hoe,
They sat so close it left us to wonder what was happening below.
When, what to our wondering eyes should appear,
But more and more pictures of this new girl for us to sneer.

With a hot blonde driver, so lively and quick,
We knew in a moment there’d be damage control from Nick.
More rapid than eagles the papz they came,
They whistled, and shouted, and called him by name!

First Nikki, then Kristen and Ashley the Vixen!
And Emily, and Reece, and the Cannes blonde from the night he was blitzen.
To the top of the headlines, to the post on a blogs the wall
Now call Nick! Call Stephanie! They’ll pay Gossip Cop to wash away all!"

More pics come to surface and the questions soon flew
Who is this girl and where is Kstew?
So up to the Soho House in that Infiniti they go,
With seats full of producers, HHH and his blonde in tow.

And then, in a twinkling, we heard there was proof
They’d been dancing and pawing, and not so aloof.
Speculations were spinning and words turned around,
Down came the Robsten’s on the new girl he’d found.

He was dressed like a hobo, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were tarnished with ashes and soot.
You could tell he was angry by the hunch of his back,
He yelled and demanded the paparazzo’s get back.

We miss Rob, his eyes-how they twinkle! His dimples how merry!
His cheeks when they’re rosy, his lips like a cherry!
He’s number one on our gift list, wish we could tie him up with a bow,
But that beard on his chin, that thing has got to go.

The butt of a cigarette usually held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke of it encircling his head like a wreath.
His jaw so chiseled, a sexy trail down his belly,
His laughter makes our knees weak just like jelly.

But that night he was grumpy and huffing, not himself at all,
But with all this gossip going on, B-girl and I were having a ball.
With a glare of his eye and a shake of his head,
Soon gave us to know this night he would dread.

He spoke not a word but everyone said it was for work.
Some of the stories said Rob was just a cheating jerk.
He should give them the finger but instead he turned up nose
We think the papz are just mad because Rob wouldn’t stop and pose!

We haven’t seen him since that night, since his camp blew the whistle,
And since then the blogs and Twitter have simmered down to a fizzle.
There hasn’t been a glimpse of him since they drove out of sight,
"But it’s Christmas so here’s to hoping we catch Rob on his London flight!"

Merry Christmas!!
Krystih & B-Girl

Friday, November 4, 2011


Happy Birthday to our bestie, Stoli!

Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday dear STOLI....
Happy Birthday to youuuuu!!

We love you, Stoli! Hope you have the greatest birthday ever filled with lots of....

Big hugs to you, Stoli! Happy Birthday!

Love the TwiMafia

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Happy Birthday NextStopSF


Happy Birthday, Bestie!

It’s somebody’s birthday, I wonder who?
It’s somebody's birthday, it might be you. 
You look all around you until you see who,
We're smiling and laughing, my goodness it’s you!
Happy Birthday, from of us to you. 
We sing this song for you and send good wishes too.
Happy Birthday, NextStop. Here's a...
Smokin' Hot Rob, just for you!

We hope you have the best Birthday, ever!
Love the TwiMafia Besties,


Friday, September 30, 2011

Happy Birthday, Bostongirl!

Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday to you.
Happy Birthday, Dear Bostongirl!
Happy Birthday to you!

I hope you have the best birthday ever.
Here's a little something YUMMY for your birthday.
(this is almost better than cupcakes, huh?)

I love you, bestie!

Happy Birthday from the TwiMafia Besties!

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Our Ode to Fifty Shades

Fifty Shades
What a man... What a man... What a mighty good man!

We are so excited that @E_L_James (a.k.a. @SQicedragon) will be releasing her new book,
 Fifty Shades Darker, on September 15. We are counting down the days, as I'm sure you are too.

It is the second book in the Fifty ShadesTrilogy.
We loved Fifty the first time around but the second time is even hotter.
If you don't love Fiftey already, let us share a few of our favorite reasons to fall in love with him.  

Bostongirl: Who can say no to Fifty in his "Red Room" jeans.
I don't think I could turn down any propostion he threw at me if he's wearing those jeans.

Krysti: Every time I see this picture of Fifty in his jeans, all I can think of is the theme song from True Blood... "I wanna' do real bad things with you..."

Bostongirl: Very bad things... kinkery fuckery and all that.

Krysti: I'm not into being punished but I wouldn't turn down a kinky spanking from Fifty.

Bostongirl: Screw that, Krys, I want to be punished. Fifty, I've been a bad, bad girl. Punish me! Please!

Bostongirl: Holy hell, Fifty 's got a dirty mouth. It makes my vjay-jay smile... holy shit, wider???? Just how big is he? *faints*

Krysti: Girlfriend, his dirty mouth makes my vjay-jay cry... weep actually. *mishevious grin*

Bostongirl: *dies laughing* TMI, Krys, T.M.I

Bostongirl: Yes, Fifty I do think you should fuck me on it... on the hood, on the trunk, on the roof, on the back seat, on the front seat, and under it, and beside it, and behind it...

Krysti: Ok, ok, I think he gets the message. Geez! *whispers* Hey Fifty, lose the crazy girl *nods to Bostongirl* and then you and i can test the stability of the hood on your Audi.

Bostongirl heard this song in her car the other day and just knew we had to rewrite it for Fifty.
So here it is ladies, our Ode to Fifty Shades.

Ode to Fifty Shades

What a man, what a man, what a man, What a mighty good man
Yes he is…
What a Dom, what a Dom, what a Dom. what a mighty good Dom

I wanna take a minute or two, and give much respect due
To the man that's made a difference in my world
And although most men are ho's, he keeps his Sub’s on the down low
And if you ask him if he dates, his answer is no
But I don't sweat it because it's just pathetic
For me to get involved in that Irina and Lauren shit
I know that he ain’t perfect, I give props to those who deserve it
And believe me y'all, he's worth it
So here's to the red room cuz we got through the vanilla

I finally found somebody that can make me submit
Fifty, you’re so kinky
I think I want you to spank me

What a man, what a man, what a man, what a mighty good man
Yes he is…
What a Dom, what a Dom, what a Dom, what a mighty good Dom

My man is smooth with a flogger, and his palm gets twitchy’, if you make him chase.
A body like Lutz with Pattinson’s face
He's smart like a doctor that’s why his company is a hit
But when he’s at home he wants me to submit
He’s always got a gift for me every time I see him
My favorite was the silver balls, holy hell nothing else could evah beat em’
He never made me sign the contract yet
But he gives me orgasms that I'll never forget
He keeps me on cloud nine just with his lips
He's not a fake wannabe and he’s good with a whip
He dresses like a GQ CEO daily, but in his Red Room jeans
He's a God-sent original, the man of my dreams

He finally said he loves me, never says he loves me not
Ties me up like a pro and teases me in all the right spots
My boss came onto me and got really crass
I kicked him in the balls and then Fifty kicked his ass.
Fifty is the man, and he's got the right potion
He spanks me good and then rubs me down with lotion
Yeah, the ritual, highway to heaven
He makes me count the swats … nine… ten… eleven
Even though it's me that he's always choosin'
My smart mouth gets me in trouble, and I know my ass is headin' for a bruisin’
Even when we’re playing he keeps my safety in mind
Which means a lot to me cuz a good Dom is hard to find

What a man, what a man, what a man, what a mighty good man
Yes, he is…
What a Dom, what a Dom, what a Dom, what a mighty good Dom

My man gives kinky fuckery lovin' that's why I call him Killer
He's not a wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am, he's a thriller
He takes his time and does everything right
Handcuffs and nipple clamps just to start off the night
He's a real smooth lover, never in a rush
And he gives me goose pimples with every single touch
He tries to give me more anytime he can
Secure in his manhood cuz he's a real man
A glider and a flyer, he loves to take Echo Charlie out
He might be 50 shades of fucked up but that's not all he’s about
Every time I need him, he always got my back
Never disrespectful cuz Irena taught him that

What a man, what a man, what a man, what a mighty good man
Yes he is…
What a Dom, what a Dom, what a Dom, what a mighty good Dom

Thanks for letting us share a few reasons we love Fifty Shades, we know there are a million more so leave us a comment below and tell us your favorite reasons for loving him. 

And if you haven't already, make sure you click this link to reserve your copy of Fifty Shades Darker.


Manips by MelbieToast were found on the website other manips are by unknown creators. Would love to give them credit if you know who they are.  

P.S. Bostongirl's birthday just happens to be September 30. Soooo... if someone just happened to want to send her an authographed copy of this book, she would be thrilled! *wink* Just sayin' :)

Saturday, July 2, 2011

Who Gets the Role? Kellan or Rob?

While most of you were preparing for your 4th of July weekend celebrations or recovering from your Canada Day celebrations, Bostongirl1212 and I were sitting at home chatting on the phone.
Exciting bunch aren't we?

Well, as per usual, our innocent convo took a crazy ass turn...  Somehow we got on the subject of Rob.

We started asking the question.... Is it possible that who we IMAGINE Rob to be in real life is actually more of a fanfic induced fantasy and not the real Rob at all. 

Is the Rob we love just a MYTH?

Is he more fantasy than reality? Is the Rob we love just someone that's created by imagination, photo shoots and red carpet premiers... just a studio version?

What about every day Rob? Would he live up to our fantasy world? If we were going to cast the role of any one of our FanFicWards... would every day Rob fit the mold?

Then we started as, if not Rob, then who would we cast in the role of our FanFicWards?

This is where Kellan Lutz came into our convo. That man is walking, talking, oozing sex magnet on legs. But would he fit the bill in fantasy vs. reality? Is he the man dreams and fanfic are made of?

 When Rob is this...
He is our Fifty Shades, our Beautiful Bastard, our MafiaPrinceWard, and every other broken, fuckhawt, gonna' sacrifice anything and everything we must, just to get a piece of him, Edward Cullen! But is it just that? A spotlight moment? A facade created to make us believe the MYTH... the FANTASY??

What about the every day man? What about when the spotlight's not on?

If we had to pick one of these every day men to star in our fanfics... who would really play that role? Kellan or Rob? Most of us would immediately say Rob but I think we might be wrong.

Let's do a little comparing shall we?

Kellan working out at the gym...

Rob working out at the gym...
We would have used another pic but honestly there just isn't any other pics of Rob at the gym. The treadmill pics are too blurry and this is the only other time we could find Rob actually breaking a sweat.

So in comparison, if you had to pick one of those to be your Edward... let's say PunkAssWard from A Pound of Flesh by @sophiejax, heading to the gym to get in a good workout with Alec... who would you visualize?

FanficWard at the gym...

We've all read many fics where Edward wanders around the house in his boxer briefs, right? Well, if we had to pick an every day man for that role? Would it be Rob or Kellan?

Kellan in his undies....

Rob in his undies...
Maybe it was cold in Brazil that day? You can't blame a guy for shrinkage if it's cold, right?
Oh, it was 80 degrees? Hmm? Oh well... ahem... moving on!

So, again... if you were going to pick one of these to be your FanficWard...
which would you pick?

What about our bronzed bod, Surfward fantasy? If we were casting the role for @Suzie55's Welcome to Paradise, who would get the role?

Here's a preview of Kellan's beach bod...

And a peek at Rob's little beach bum...

Whose board would you rather ride? Who is your FanficWard? Rob or Kellan?

You can't discuss FanficWard without taking a moment to discuss the... uh PACKAGE!

Does size matter?
In fanfic it sure the hell does.

 Hell, in some fics we've read, Edward can be doing Bella from behind, with one leg on the coffee table, one leg across the back of the couch, flip her over, get up and grab a beer, look around for his cigarettes, turn off the lights, come back to bed... and all the while HIS DICK NEVER LEAVES HER!!

Now, c'mon... you got be packin' some serious SIZE for that!
So, what'll it be girls? Who gets the role Kellan or Rob?

Kellan's package audition.... I had to post two pics because this is just impressive!

Rob's package audition...

While Rob's package is quite impressive in this pic, it has been the subject of many debates. Manip or not? There is another peen pic where he's in khaki's, I'm sure we're all familiar with it, right? But again... it's plagued with manip rumors too. Hmm? I think prefer my peens not be plagued... with anything.

Well, who gets FanficWard package honors?? Who fulfills your fantasy?

 I must have missed the fic where Edward's peen was so small it kept slipping out while he was banging her. Have you read that one? Yeah, I didn't think so!

Even though Rob will always be our Edward, and he will always have those spotlight moments that melts the panties right off our little booties...

 We have to admit...

Rob doesn't go to the gym so he doesn't have those rock hard abs we fantasize our Edward's to have.
The underwear modeling world isn't exactly beating down Rob's door begging him to fill their tighty whities.
It's obvious why Rob would rather sit in a pub drinking beer and plucking a guitar than learning how to surf.
Rob's package has spotlight moments, but the jury is still out on whether it's a case of fact or fiction.

So, where does that leave us.

Kellan will always have a great body and HUGE... dimples!
 And Rob may never have those pecks or that peen...

But Rob does have that fistable sex hair, the most beautiful green/gold/black eyes we've ever lost ourselves in. Rob will always have those sweet, red, lickable lips and the swooniest smirk in the world. 

So, what's our conclusion? There's only one answer.
As far as fanfic goes... our FanficWard's are all just a bunch of

Thank you to my bff Bostongirl for helping me find all these pics and for laughing your ass off with me all afternoon. SpecialEdWard and KellanWard Cock was such a blast today! Hugs!

 Pic Source: Manips stolen from Lolypops82 Blog and Robmaniporn Blog

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Breaking Dawn Calendar - Bouffants, Constipation, and Other F*ckery

Hey ya'll! I haven't had a chance to blog much lately. I've been super busy.

Ok, that's a lie. The truth is, when I'm not working or being football mom, I'm reading Emancipation Proclamation by Kharrazmatik. If you haven't read it you need to... like NOW! It's THE best fanfic I have ever read.

Another reason I haven't blogged lately, I just haven't had much to say.

You know what they say... "if you don't have anything nice to say... join a robsten or nonsten thread!" Hahaha!! I'm just kidding.

Please don't leave me shitty comments, it was just a joke. ;-p


A certain piece of fuckery was released this week and it bugged me enough to drag my ass to the blog today. I couldn't let it go... I just have to bitch about this.

Seriously, what is this...

It's just wrong on so many levels.

The first time I saw it, all I could hear was Chester Cheetah screaming "It ain't easy bein' cheesy!" in the back of my head. 

Honestly, when I saw this picture, I didn't even realize it was the calendar. I actually thought it was an ad for a new "Twilight Saga in Wax" display for Madame Tussuad's. For a minute, I thought they were actually going to have one that finally looked like Rob. I was wrong.  

The entire picture is just bad, really bad. Why does it look like the cover of a corny romance novel? And it looks so fake, animated almost. I know I'm tech-tarded, but I can't tell if this is a bad digitally enhanced photoshop or did someone just go airbrush crazy with the real photo?

Even if some art department flunky got a little carried away and let their creative juices flow a bit too freely... what executive putz looked at this and said. *insert deep voice* "Oh, that looks great, lets go with it"?

Whoever it was, needs to find their ass in the unemployment line... or back at Harlequin where they came from.

Ok, let's really take a look... shall we?

Exhibit A - Why does Edward look constipated? I can't decide if this is digital fuckery or if this is a result of Rob actually being constipated when they did the shoot. Too many cheeseburgers, maybe? I mean, too much cheese can back up the plumbing? Maybe Edward should add a fiber supplement to his diet of deer and mountain lion...? And who punched him in the face and flattened his nose?

Exhibit B - Why does Bella have a bouffant? I thought that was Twilight Edward's thing? She looks like Loretta Lynn circa 1960. She is the Police Chief's daughter not the Coal Miners daughter. And further more, why is Bella's hair the exact same color as Edward's? Is this a side effect of be bitten by him, or maybe a result of too much Eddie vamp jizz? After so many headboard busting sessions your hair suddenly turns bronze or what? If that's the case, sign me up... I'm totally willing to rock the bronze locks.

Exhibit C - Can someone tell me why Edward looks emaciated? Look at how thin his arms appear to be. His chest looks completely sunken in. It's practically concave. Edward is supposed to be marble. Hard as a rock (hehehe! Sorry but Edward and hard in the same sentence make me think naughty things... still wishing for the bronze hair!) Anyway, Edward is supposed to be chiseled. No?

I'm sure it doesn't help that he is slouching. Maybe they couldn't find a step stool that was tall enough for Taylor so they were like, "Hey Rob, can you slouch a little so we can make this kid that's 4'2" look like he's 6'2'? Mmm kay Thanks!"

Exhibit D- I know Jacob is supposed to be buff and all, but seriously? His bicep is just ridiculous, completely unproportioned to the rest of his body. And is that supposed to be a vein or something? FYI ... when veins are popping out of your arms like that, it's often a sign that your muscles were "artificiallly enhanced". Lay off the juice, Jake! It will make your balls shrink up!

Exhibit E- Wait a minute, does the kid have man boobs? The way Taylor's chest is jutted out, sort of reminds me of one of those Looney Toons cartoons, where the character puffs out their chest really big, and then cinches his belt really tight, "trying" to look big and tough. Actually, I'm more shocked that he is wearing a shirt at all.

Exhibit F - And when did Bella get a boob job? Or did I just miss the part in the book where Bella had a D cup? If that was the case, I doubt Edward would have stopped at the leg hitch in Eclipse!  

I was going to let this go at Exhibit F but I have to mention this as well... Why are they all wearing the same shade of lipstick? After watching the hospital scene in Twilight a hundred thousand times, I guess I should be used to Edward's fondness of lovely lip color, but come on. These movies have made a bazillion bucks...they can't afford to give them each their own shade? *insert eye roll*

I admit, I am a total BD leak hoor. I have seen every leaked pic and every leaked video. That Edward thrusting video... WOW...holy mutha' of busted headboards...! Then Summit released the OFFICIAL trailer and I was happy as a little freakin' lark, counting down the days to November.

For brief moment, I was actually convinced that when people see this movie, they would finally understand why we live for this crap. Why we love this man! I was actually ready to bust out my Team Edward shirt in public... other than just at midnight showings.

(I'm praying that they leave all that hot sex in the movie... I doubt they will, but this hoor is keeping the faith.)

BUT THEN, just when I think we're on the right track, Summit releases this calendar fuckery and I'm dejectedly crawling back to my closet, embarrassed that people know I'm a Twihard. Dammit!

C'mon Summit, you can do better than this. Help us be proud to love Twilight! *sigh*

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Happy Birthday Robmusement

A Happy Birthday Wish to Robmusement!

I can't even begin to tell you what an amazing person Robmusement is and all of the sweet things she does... the ridiculously, hot tatt porn surprises that appear in my email, the ebooks and other e-goodies she shares so unselfishly, the beautiful RobPorn she so generously posts on Twitter for our enjoyment.

She makes almost all of the awesome banners for this blog and for Bostongirl's fanfic, Always & Never. She also has a kick ass blog of her own, "Robmusement ~ Come Play in the Robmusement Park" where she posts fun, Rob related games, the "Best of Week" from all the other blogs, gives fic rec's and so much more.

She is amazing and I love her for just being her!

I thought long and hard (I said long and hard...hehehe! Did you just giggle and think about Rob's peen too? No? Just me then? Oh well)

Anywoo, I thought about what I would give Robmusement if I could give her anything in the world... the answer... ROB!! I would give her ROB... every sexy, drool worthy, naughty thought inducing, panty poofing Rob that we have ever seen!

BUT... since kidnapping is illegal, I'll to give her the next best thing!

To my Dear Friend Robmusement,










And last but certainly not least...


I hope you enjoy each and every Rob!

Thank you for all your do, for being so giving, so sweet, and for being such a great friend!


Krysti, Bostongirl,
An Unhealthy Addiction & The TwiMafia

Friday, April 8, 2011


This is a special post to celebrate @PurpleBrina17's birthday. 
In honor of her day the blog has had a little PURPLE overhaul.

Her bday isn't actually until Saturday but we've decided that she is celebrating TODAY so....


Sunday, February 13, 2011

Ooh La La Robert Pattinson - New Video

Happy Valentines Day
from An Unhealthy Addiction!!

I love this song and every time I hear it... it makes me want to do naughty things to Rob!! *hehehe*

P.S. This is my first attempt at making a video so please be a tiny bit kind with your critiques!

I used some amazing manips from Lolypop82 and many others in this video . If I knew who made the other manips, I would send you love and credit as well. If anyone knows who made any of these manips please let me know.

Much love to my TwiMafia Besties...
@Bostongirl1212, @Amanda1104 @NextstopSF @PurpleBrina17 

I love you all so much! Hope you have a great Valetines Day!

Hugs & Luvs

Sunday, January 30, 2011

Rob-Porn, A New Banner & A Fic Pimp

Thanks to Robmusement for another beautiful banner...
and the beautiful tattporn that pops up in my email from time to time. It's always such a nice surprise!

I heart her hard! Are you all following her on twitter - @Robmusement She tweets the best Rob PicSpam. She also has an awesome blog with lots of Rob fun and games, fic recs, and lots more. Go check it out  Robmusement Park

So, what would a new banner be without some yummy Rob Porn to go along with it.

I have to admit that I spent the better part of the weekend completely submerged in a hot new fic.
As you all know... my heart belongs to Tattward *sigh*

*bites bottom lips...HARD*

But this new Edward a.k.a. @PunkAssWard (PAW) is giving my Tattward fetish a run for its money.

Pound of Flesh by Jaxon22
It's deliciously in bad in doing jail time, badass, cocky boy, smart mouth, possessive,
beat your ass for looking at his women, well endowed, mind fucked, broken, lemony sweet, as in GRRR!
 Oh, and did I mention that he is inked?

RAWR!!! Just the way I like 'em!

So, with that being on the forefront of my brain,
this Rob Porn may or may not be what I've been picturing in my minds eye while I read all weekend! 

I would live to give credit for the yummy manips but I have no idea who made them. if you know, let me know. And go READ THIS FIC! Its def on my list of favorites! Let me know what you think.