Sunday, December 18, 2011

Twas the Night of Rob's Scandal

Bostongirl and I were supposed to be wrapping present last night but as usual we got sidetracked by Rob. We started talking about all the latest news or lack there of, and before we knew it, we had the complete story of the recent Sarah Roemer scandal all summed up and set to the tone of
"Twas the Night Before Christmas"

Oh, the lengths we will go to avoid wrapping all those gifts!
Hope you enjoy!

Twas the Night of Rob's Scandal 

Twas two weeks into drought, and all through blogs
Not a rumor was stirring, not even in on the comment logs.
Old pic’s were posted, so he’s knows we still care,
In hopes that new Holy Hotness soon would be there.

The fangirls were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of Edward Cullen danced in their heads.
And B-girl with her tablet and I with the HP on my lap,
Had just settled down for a long winter re-cap.

When out on Twitter there arose such a clatter,
We logged on immediately to see what was the matter.
Through our timeline we flew like a flash,
Tore through the posts with hopes of new pics to add to our stash.

His eyes on the breast of a new Hollywood hoe,
They sat so close it left us to wonder what was happening below.
When, what to our wondering eyes should appear,
But more and more pictures of this new girl for us to sneer.

With a hot blonde driver, so lively and quick,
We knew in a moment there’d be damage control from Nick.
More rapid than eagles the papz they came,
They whistled, and shouted, and called him by name!

First Nikki, then Kristen and Ashley the Vixen!
And Emily, and Reece, and the Cannes blonde from the night he was blitzen.
To the top of the headlines, to the post on a blogs the wall
Now call Nick! Call Stephanie! They’ll pay Gossip Cop to wash away all!"

More pics come to surface and the questions soon flew
Who is this girl and where is Kstew?
So up to the Soho House in that Infiniti they go,
With seats full of producers, HHH and his blonde in tow.

And then, in a twinkling, we heard there was proof
They’d been dancing and pawing, and not so aloof.
Speculations were spinning and words turned around,
Down came the Robsten’s on the new girl he’d found.

He was dressed like a hobo, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were tarnished with ashes and soot.
You could tell he was angry by the hunch of his back,
He yelled and demanded the paparazzo’s get back.

We miss Rob, his eyes-how they twinkle! His dimples how merry!
His cheeks when they’re rosy, his lips like a cherry!
He’s number one on our gift list, wish we could tie him up with a bow,
But that beard on his chin, that thing has got to go.

The butt of a cigarette usually held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke of it encircling his head like a wreath.
His jaw so chiseled, a sexy trail down his belly,
His laughter makes our knees weak just like jelly.

But that night he was grumpy and huffing, not himself at all,
But with all this gossip going on, B-girl and I were having a ball.
With a glare of his eye and a shake of his head,
Soon gave us to know this night he would dread.

He spoke not a word but everyone said it was for work.
Some of the stories said Rob was just a cheating jerk.
He should give them the finger but instead he turned up nose
We think the papz are just mad because Rob wouldn’t stop and pose!

We haven’t seen him since that night, since his camp blew the whistle,
And since then the blogs and Twitter have simmered down to a fizzle.
There hasn’t been a glimpse of him since they drove out of sight,
"But it’s Christmas so here’s to hoping we catch Rob on his London flight!"

Merry Christmas!!
Krystih & B-Girl


PurpleBrina said...

This why I love you! So damn witty & badass how I have missed your betabitchass! ( see I can rhyme) too! Lol

Text a girl & keep me in a loop! I somehow missed this :-/


Respect this blog & the mafia

PurpleBrina out!

luvtwilight72 said...

This is awesome! LOL!!

Nikki said...

This is AMAZING! I just died laughing! :)


xcecilia said...

LOL! Simply brilliant!

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