Monday, January 25, 2010

Who was that Bearded Man??

First, let me start by saying I commend the efforts of Rob Pattinson and all of the celebs that took the time to help raise money for the Hope for Haiti Telethon! And a huge thanks to all of the Twi-fans that did their part to contribute to the $57 million that was raised to help that devastated country.

That being said…now lets move on to the fuckery that was Rob Pattinson showing up to said, Worldwide Televised event looking like some sort of Charles Manson, Unabomber love child.

On the morning I popped over to Robsessed and saw that our sexy boy’s participation in this event had been confirmed. I felt like a little girl anticipating Christmas morning. Thoughts of sugar covered S.O.F. Rob was dancing in my head.

The drought would soon be over. The rain of RPattz would soon be coming to quench my thirst. I envisioned singing in the rain! I would stick my tongue out and catch the Robby drops on my tongue…well ok, so I would lick the screen, but a girl can use her imagination, right!?

Then, Friday finally arrived. I was glued to my laptop waiting for the imminent papz pics of Rob arriving to the studio. I was practically buzzing with excitement, ok so maybe it was the vibrating sparkle peen that was buzzing me, but you get my point. Then it happened…the first pic’s broke. Oh my gawd...what the hell is this shit?

My beautiful Rob looked like some sort of deranged psychopath being walked into the state penitentiary. I thought at any moment we’d get a pic of "Security Agent Protect Rob’s Ass" throwing cuffs on Rob’s wrist and a coat over his head. WTF, Rob? All he needed now was an orange jump suit.

I held hope that maybe the telethon coordinators had a staff and hair and makeup folks that would hack that shit off his face but NO…that wasn’t the case.

As the telethon aired I saw Rob, my gorgeous squared jaw, beautiful lipped, soft skinned, fantasy fall apart before my very eyes. I wanted to cry real tears as I heard my Robby’s silky voice come forth from the hair ball that sat atop his shoulders. It looked like a walking talking, sparkle peen toting version of something my cat hacked up. The lips...gone. The jawline...hidden. Why, Rob? Why?

I closed my eyes and heard the words…Twittah updates, Facebook pages…ahhh yes…that’s my baby. But when I opend my eyes….WHAT THE HELL…close your eyes, close your eyes….bleach, bleach, I need to burn out the images of Rob looking like that.

I won't even comment on the clothes, because well, honestly, I never set my expectations very high when it comes to Rob's wardrobe choices. I have just come to prepare myself for his dumpster diver fashion flare.

But the that's another story. As a money dropping, blog reading, career supporting fan...I EXPECT to see the panty dropper face during major appearances. On his own personal time, he can look however he wants, but in a scheduled public setting...that's fan time as far as I am concerned and I want my fangirl monies worth. Am I wrong, ladies?

But loving Rob, as I still do and always will, I am going to chalk this up to just getting a little to relaxed during his rare time off. I decided to put together a little guide for Rob to use for future appearances, just in case he needs a reminder of what he should or should not look like during NATIONAL TELEVISION APPEARANCES.

A little yummy scruff is good

Grizzly Adams is Bad

Visible Lip/Tongue Action is Good

Hiding those lucious smackers is bad

This is just wrong, Rob. It's just wrong. Are you using this beard to hide from papz and fans? Ok, I get that, but you could at least trim it to a neater, EVEN look. Are you suffering with a mega grunge gnarliness for your role in Bel Ami? Ok, I can live with that too but CLEAN AND BRUSHED goes a long way.

For whatever reason you feel it necessary to sport this nasty face bush right now, you could have at least compensated by wearing a nice pair of kickass peen revealing jeans, that hugged that ass you don't have. I could have handled that. But's all fail. Total fail! Please come back Rob, please be this sexy smiling, hair fisting man again...

I really miss him!!


Bouncy72 said...

LMAO, sorry Krys, that was kinda funny even if you are a bit upset *chuckle*.
When I first saw the pics I was horrified like you, but when I saw him on the telethon, it took a wee while, but then I thought he looked quite cute. I know I read a few other places that this was for Bel Ami *shrug* I don't know. You gotta admire the boy for being himself though, hehe.
Oh well hon just about 6 more weeks & you get to see the beautiful Rob in Remember me :)

bnjwl said...

I so disagree:( But I have always loved the full beard Rob. So to me he was so cute, I do agree with hiding the lips. That is always a crime, should never be done. What I did notive after watching for a few seconds was the sadness. He just seemed so sad, almost miserable. And while I don't care about the facial hair I do care about his overall happiness. So bring back the happy, smiling Rob. Full beard, scruf, or clean shaven- doesn't matter just happy.

Bouncy72 said...

Isn't it great that no matter what Rob looks like, He still appeals to so many woman *grin*

Um bnjwl I think he might have been looking sad because of the reason he actually had to be there...the tragedy in Haiti. So hopefully he'll be doing a bit better now :)

Honolulu Girl from Trueblood Twilight said...

Funny! He looks like the guy from the Hangover. :)

nextstopsf said...

Well my bestie I am not that delinquent with my commentthis time...and you know we differ on our opinion of our beautiful boythis I will say that I appreciate your need for a clean- ish shaven Rob but I also appreciate his needed to be invisible these days (that may mean blending in as a homeless know how he favors their fashion) and I am willing to over look the extra scruff (even though I like it fine) because I think he believed this event wasn't about how he looks- that being said and being a true Libra to the bone- I know what you wanted to see and I would have love to have seen SOF panty dropping Rob too! Trufax!!! Love my girl!! XO

*Stoli_Princess* said...

*AHEM* clears throat..... Holy shit bestie I cannnnnnot believe you made a post about this! LOL its funnier then shit i must admist, but you know ill take rob in a bag under a bridge any day! ill take him home and clean him up and have my way with him!!! soo go ahead hate this look leave more for me! BWHAHAHAHAH *evil laugh while rubs hands together* XOXOXO love you!!!

Brina said...

Damn Bestie this some funny shit. I can't help but laugh and roll eyes. Poor Rob, that Poor boy can't do anything without peeps gettin mad at him. It's kinda sad and DAMN FUNNY. I wouldn't close my legs with he wanted to put his head there. hmmmmm *bites bottom lip* But I think my Twin (stoli princess) said it best. Guess we will be two fight ass bitches until a bridge tryin to see who get to get in the bag with Rob. ROTFLMAO I LOVE YOU!!!! Respect this blog BITCHES

Jackie said...

Bestie you know I agree w/ you 1000000% YUCK YUCK YUCK!! WHERE IS OUR S.O.F???? I love you bestie you totally crack me up!!! I still say we send him a razor for his Birthday!!! xoxoxo Luv ya girlie!!

Bouncy72 said...

Hey Stoli & Brina, how come you get dibs on Rob in the bag? ... :P
Unless, that means I get him in the four poster bed on a deserted island..Mhmm, now that I can work with *chuckle*

Lyta7 said...

I completely agree with you on the beard part. I just kept telling myself that it's for a role. At least I hope so (and please don't tell me I'm wrong!).

His manager should make sure that "no beard required" is part of his standard contract, lol.

stephanie said...

I agree I want to see sexy Rob again!! Not grizzy look! scruff is sexy and I want to see those lush lips!!

Ana said...

right on, sister!!! my family was watching the telethon and when I saw Rob on the screen, I told my brother to give the tv more volume and my brother saw who it was and start laughing. My brother said, "Ewwww, your into him with that beard?" At least we so many pics of Rob looking drop dead sexy stashed in our computer :)

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