Robbie Rhymes

Trouble falling asleep? Let me sing you a little song, baby!

Do you ever get a nursery rhyme or cartoon theme song stuck in your head? I’ve had a couple of them stuck in my head all day but decided to rewrite them to fit my mood. I’ll call them…

Robbie Rhymes.....

Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star

Twinkle, twinkle little Rob

Always dressed up like a slob

Like a diamond in the rough

Chiseled abs and jaw line scruff

Twinkle, twinkle little Rob

How I wish to ride your knob

(sorry disco stick didn’t rhyme with Rob)

The Oscar Meyer Bologna Song

My celeb crush has a first name
It’s R-o-b-b-y
(I know its spelled wrong but it fits the song so fucking sue me)
My celeb crush has a second name
It’s R-P-A-T-Z
I’d love to lick him everyday
And if you ask my why I’ll say
“Cos Robby Patz has away with way
making me wish I’d just get laid

Itsy Bitsy Spider

Hot and sexy Robbie climbed up the king sized bed
Down came the panties with faces turning red
Out came the snaky to slither through the puddle
Then the hot and sexy Robbie moaned my name again

Awww! I love nursery rhymes! They are so comforting and soothing!

Send me your Rob or Twi nursery rhyme rewrites and I will include some of them in a follow up to be posted later this week! I know there are some crazy, WAY MORE creative, pervs out there that are willing to show us their Robbie Rhymes!

The “Unhealthy” Moral of the Story: Yes, I’m a sick pervy bitch…but admit you want to ride Rob's disco stick too!

A Morning Quicky

A little something to tickle your tushy...

...I do love a quicky in the morning!

Monday Madness: Hulkward

What do you think the papz would do if Rob went all Bruce Banner, post gamma ray, on their asses??

The "Unhealthy" Moral of the Story: Yes, I got carried away while I was playing with the photo editor...whatev...it's my blog I'll post stupid shit if I want to! Hmmph!

Robsten Sighting...The "Lets Get Real" Breakdown

Yes, I admit it! I am one of those annoying Robsten lovers! So, waking up on this beautiful Sunday morning to find out that they went out TOGETHER last night, had me grinning like the cat that ate the canary.

Well, for a few minutes anyway. But then I had some coffee and that little bitch that sits in my shoulder woke up and started whispering in my ear. She said, "WTF? Look at those pics again! Get real bitch!"  That little bitch is always right so here's the "get real" breakdown!

This jacket is actually kind of cute, aside from the fact that from this angle it makes her look like she has fat ghetto booty! She probably bought this during that little shopping trip they "allegedly" took to that little vintage store in The 'Couve. I wish she would have hit a hair salon and got some damn extensions while they were out and about.

I am so fucking sick of the ugly, greasy, mullet ponytail. If she isn't going to take ten minutes to fix that shit, she'd be better off taking a clue from Rob and just putting on a crappy ball cap!

You can try to convince yourself that the mullet is part of her badass look. But being the hair fetish freak that I am, I happen to know that people who make excuses for others peoples ugly hair are usually trying to draw attention from their own nasty mops!

Yes, he's beautiful! Yes, his unpretentiousness makes us swoon harder! I do love the fact that he doesn't feel the need to break his big fat bank account to buy designer crap. But c'mon dammit!

The ball cap is completely ridiculous. "Interior Power"? WTF? This looks like one of the free caps that cheesy sales reps give away to clients that usually end up in some yard sale or Goodwill donation....DING...DING! At least the bastard is consistent with his Goodwill fashion statements.

I'll have to duck as soon as I type this....but I fucking hate these jeans! I am so sick of seeing him these "hole in the left knee jeans". Even I can't deny that they fit like a glove but I'm just over them already! GO SHOPPING ROB!

MORE BITCHING AFTER THE JUMP