Robsten Sighting...The "Lets Get Real" Breakdown

Yes, I admit it! I am one of those annoying Robsten lovers! So, waking up on this beautiful Sunday morning to find out that they went out TOGETHER last night, had me grinning like the cat that ate the canary.

Well, for a few minutes anyway. But then I had some coffee and that little bitch that sits in my shoulder woke up and started whispering in my ear. She said, "WTF? Look at those pics again! Get real bitch!"  That little bitch is always right so here's the "get real" breakdown!

This jacket is actually kind of cute, aside from the fact that from this angle it makes her look like she has fat ghetto booty! She probably bought this during that little shopping trip they "allegedly" took to that little vintage store in The 'Couve. I wish she would have hit a hair salon and got some damn extensions while they were out and about.

I am so fucking sick of the ugly, greasy, mullet ponytail. If she isn't going to take ten minutes to fix that shit, she'd be better off taking a clue from Rob and just putting on a crappy ball cap!

You can try to convince yourself that the mullet is part of her badass look. But being the hair fetish freak that I am, I happen to know that people who make excuses for others peoples ugly hair are usually trying to draw attention from their own nasty mops!

Yes, he's beautiful! Yes, his unpretentiousness makes us swoon harder! I do love the fact that he doesn't feel the need to break his big fat bank account to buy designer crap. But c'mon dammit!

The ball cap is completely ridiculous. "Interior Power"? WTF? This looks like one of the free caps that cheesy sales reps give away to clients that usually end up in some yard sale or Goodwill donation....DING...DING! At least the bastard is consistent with his Goodwill fashion statements.

I'll have to duck as soon as I type this....but I fucking hate these jeans! I am so sick of seeing him these "hole in the left knee jeans". Even I can't deny that they fit like a glove but I'm just over them already! GO SHOPPING ROB!

MORE BITCHING AFTER THE JUMP

I put this off as long as I could but here goes...Who in the fucking hell is this frizzy haired bitch and please tell me his hand is not on her nasty fucking thigh!?

Looking at this picture made me feel like a chapter in one of those angsty fanfics where Bella is rushing to Edward's apartment to profess her love and beg him to bang the bujeezers out of her...and just as she turns the corner she sees him with his hard anaconda all pressed against some skanky whore. The total WTF moment!

Several sources tell me this tramp is Rob's manager's wife. I really hope so because I hate it when I have to wish death by fire on anyone...even whores with ugly hair!

Now, these are the moments I live for. Robsten, back in their hotel after what I believe is probably a Summit arranged, press opp, outing with their reps. Whew, I can breath easy now. After that last pic I was thinking I might have to take a valium. (Who am I trying to kid, I'll still probably take one just because I happen to like them a little too much)

Anyway, I feel bad that Kristen looks stressed. But I'm not sure if it's because of the papz or because she just caught a glimpse of her reflection in the window and realized how fucking fail her hair looks. I vote for the latter!

Admit it. When you see pics of them in or near their hotel you secretly picture them all hot and sweaty getting their love fest on...NO? Ummm...yeah me either!

The "Unhealthy" Moral of the Story: These Robsten sightings are much to few and far between which totally bites for the Robsten freaks like me. And I think I tell ya'll way too much about myself in these fucking blog posts. Should I worry about that? I don't ask me when the euphoria of this valium wears off!

Source: Pics from Splash News and TMZ