FUCK MY LIFE…OH MY GOD…you will never believe what happened when Edward came into my office for our post interview today. Oh fuck, maybe I shouldn’t tell you guys. If B-Girl finds out she will flip the fuck out and probably revoke all of my interview privileges. OMG…I have to tell someone though. Ok, you all have to pinky swear not to tell her. And believe me, if you do, it will fuck all of us because you guys won’t have a chance to get his POV from these interviews anymore. Deal? Ok, good! OH MY GOD….
So, I stayed up way to late last night watching some crazy Cinemax movie that may or may not qualify as porn in most countries. But, the lead actor was hot as hell, had a British accent and, believe or not, he had gorgeous crazy sex hair. This movie was about…oh, I guess that doesn’t matter. Let me get back to what just happened with Edward...FML!!
Anyway, the fuckhawt movie was fun while it lasted, but I am absolutely beat today. Three hours sleep just isn’t enough for this gal. I’m surprised I even had the energy to get dressed this morning, much less look as hot as I do today, if I do say so myself. It’s amazing how a sexy pair of cherry red Christian Louboutin FMP’s and a red lace camisole can turn a plain black pencil skirt and a black blazer into a sexy little number. I know it’s terrible of me but I dress a little sexier on the days I know Edward will be here.
I was just so tired and I needed a minute to clear my head. I had to think about what questions I wanted to ask Edward when he got here. You all know what a dick he can be, right? It takes a lot of time and effort to figure exactly how far I should or shouldn’t push him. So, I lean back in my big, oversized leather desk chair, letting my head fall back into a relaxed position. Then, I propped my feet up, resting my ankles on the edge of the desk. I was way more comfortable now then I should have allowed myself to be while at work. The last thing I remember was admiring my new shoes, that were now proudly displayed in the air above my desk. Damn, these shoes are sexy as fuck. I’m so glad I bought these fuckers. But, don’t ask what my credit bill looks like.
Anyway, I must have dozed off, because the next thing I know, Edward was standing above me, with a huge bouquet of flowers in his hand, whispering my name. He scared the hell outta’ me and made me jump ten feet in the air.
“Holy shit Edward. I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you come in.”
“Yeah, I guess it would be to hard to hear over all that snoring,” he chuckled. “Nice fucking shoes by the way,” he said motioning down to my feet.
OMG…I must have fallen asleep and now I’m totally embarrassed. Shit. Unfortunately, for whatever reason, the embarrassment turned into bitchy sarcasm.
“Uh, thanks but I was not snoring, Edward. I wasn’t even sleeping. I was just..eh…thinking about how to nicely ask you about Bella leaving and why you’re stupid ass thought pulling a disappearing act this morning would make things better. She did leave for Arizona this morning, right? By the way, not even going over there to apologize or at least to say good-bye might not be the best way to fix this, ya’ know”
Edward just stood there staring at me with his jaw clenched. He eyes shifted down to the flowers and without warning he raised then above his head and slammed them down onto my desk. Baby’s breath, leaves and flower petals flew into the air, landing all over the room. A tiny white baby’s breath blossom even landed in Edward’s hair. My fingers ached to pull it out, but I knew I better not.
“Krysti. I am not in the fucking mood for your sarcasm today…I wanted to fucking go to her. I even bought these fucking stupid ass flowers. I really fucked up this time, Krys… I. Fucked.Up!”
Edward looked at me with sadness in his eyes. He flopped down on the chair, rubbing both hands across his face and then into his hair. But that damn baby’s breath just held on to his hair for dear fucking life.
Slightly distracted by the intruder in his hair, I changed the subject. “Edward, what did you think about the song she sent you?”
Edward rolled his eyes at me and said, “Is it not obvious, Krysti? She doesn’t want to fucking hear me out. S-she doesn’t want to lose me as her best friend. She regrets it, Krys. She wants to forget it ever happened. And now… now…I have to try to at least save our friendship.” He looked down at the floor shaking his head. But the baby’s breath didn’t fucking budge.
That’s when it happened. I couldn’t take it for another minute. “Edward…you have…a little..uh…something…in your hair.” I said, pointing to his hair.
“Where? he asked, running his hands through his hair for the tenth time in the last twenty minutes. But the evil flower wouldn’t fucking let go.
“It’s right there on the left side..no, no a little more towards the front,” I pointed and directed, as he tried to find the little bastard. “No, Edward it’s…a little more left…no, back just a…”
Edward stood up and walked around the desk. He stood right in front of me, his crotch dangerously close to my face. My breath hitched and I was frozen in that chair, eyes glued to the large bulge that was within tongues reach. My mind was racing a million miles an hour in a direction that it definitely should not be racing in.
Then, he fucking leaned down, and placed both hands on the arms rests of my chair. I think I stopped breathing when he arched his neck down so his hair was practically touching the tip of my nose. “Just get it out, Krys. Damn, where the fuck did you get those shoes anyway.” Edward asked. He tilted his head slightly to the side to get a better look at them. He heard what I must have only imagined to be a tiny moan
OH MY GOD…OH MY GOD….he was asking me to touch his fucking hair…holy mother fucking shit….Edward was asking me to…OH MY GOD. B~Girl will chop off my fucking fingers. I promised her…but oh shit…he has something in his hair, right? That doesn’t count, does it? He NEEDS ME to get it out for him. OH MY GOD.
He was still leaning over me, waiting for me. “Krysti, are you going to fucking get it or not?”
Oh shit, I’m going to fucking get it alright. I inhaled deeply, smelling the cinnamon that lingered around him. I slowly raised my trembling hand and inched my way towards his beautiful bronze hair. I could do this. I could just get it out of hair. This was innocent, right? No harm, no foul. I continued moving my hand forward until my finger tips were touching the tiny white flower. Just pull your hand back Krysti, pull it the fuck back…oh shit…I could feel the strands between my fingers. It was soft and silky to the touch. I had to have more. I was like a fucking junky. I couldn’t stop. I couldn’t stop myself. Before I knew it, my whole hand was fisted into the top of Edward Cullen’s hair.
He let out a chuckle and slowly lifted his head, my hand going with it. The corners of his mouth lifted into a crooked smirk and he licked his lips. I’m pretty sure I felt the elastic in my panties melt in that moment.
“Krysti,” he whispered, as his face moved closer to mine.
“Yes, Edward?” I barely choked out.
“Those are really hot fucking shoes, but I really should go now.”
“Yeah… I think you’re right. You really should go now.”
“You have to let go of my hair.”
“Oh, shit, sorry.”
My fingers slowly released the grip I had on his gorgeous fucking hair. As the blood started to circulate back up to the top half of my body and my brain became active again, I became aware of what the fuck I just did.
Edward, grinning from ear to ear, took a few steps backwards, but didn’t move his eyes off me. “So, I guess I will see you next week?” I sat there in silent shock, hand still clutched to my chest.
He was almost to the door when he stopped and turned one last time, “Krysti, don’t worry, I won’t tell B~Girl, but it might be best that you don’t wear those fucking shoes next week.”
And that’s the whole story. Oh my god. I have to tell B~Girl, because I don’t keep secrets from her and don’t lie to her. But just so you all know, I will miss you all when she fires me being her beta and never lets me speak to Edward again!
*iphone dings* Oh fuck… I have a text.
“Krys, Edward just got here for our meeting. Can you come to my office, please? NOW!” B~Girl
FML! I knew that sexy fucker would run right over and tell her! Shit! Well, peeps….it was a blast getting you know ya’ but I think is our good-bye! It will be near impossible to type this blog after B~Girl chops my fucking finger off! But between me and you it was SOOOO FUCKING WORTH IT!