Friday, March 5, 2010

Today Show Fashion Torn and Tattered



Rob, sweety....
You are the lead actor in one of the highest grossing movies of all time
You are one of the highest paid young actors in the biz
You have been on the cover of almost every magazine
You are one of the most saught after men in the world
People Magazine called you the Sexiest Vamp of the Year
YA THINK YA MIGHT WANNA' SPLURGE 
FOR A NEW JACKET???

We can live with the Franken Pants! We can live with the Franken Stoli Shirt!
But you didn't even try to do a FRANKEN SLEEVE on the jacket!
The jacket that you chose to wear on NATIONAL TELEVISION!
WTH???????

Although we think it's uber adorkable that you are thrifty to the point of sewing your own clothes,
we are pretty sure it's time to invest in some new ones!

Let's start with a new jacket. Check this out...
RustyZipper.com has this super cool, vintage, Memebers Only Jacket


We must admit, Members Only isn't necessarily our first choice of jackets for you to wear.
But it seems to be your favorite style preference and we realize the need to move into change slowly...
Baby steps, Rob! Baby steps.

We understand that flashy and pretentious isn't your thing, but look at it this way, you can buy this jacket for a mere $48 and still have $9,999,951 left from your New Moon paycheck. That's cool, right?
 I"ll tell you what, just for being a good sport about this, and because we know buying new clothes is such a difficult concept for you to grasp, I will even pay the taxes and shipping.
Total win all around!

Once we get over the hurdle of replacing old, torn clothes with new ones, we will test the waters in the luggage department. Your moms 1974 yellow canvas tote...maybe not the best thing to be carrying through a paparazzi filled airport...but that's a discussion for another day.

Here are a few rules to help during this transition: 
 1. Do not EVER borrow TomStu's hideous clothes again. Just because it says "Rolling Stones", that doesn't make it cool. 
2. The buttonfly's have a free pass from the "replace when torn" rule. Because those fuckers are hot and need to remain in your wardrobe until they every damn thread disintegrates. Furthermore, if and when the crotch rip's on those buttonfly's the "Ripped Crotch Rule" applies. That rules states that you must wear them three times more often.
3. The "Ripped Crotch Rule" also stipulates that franken thread should NEVER touch a rip in the crotch of ANY of your pants. They just need to be worn as is. And underwear is optional.

Thanks so much to my bestie Bostongirl for pointing out the HUGE rip in that jacket that I total missed. I was way to focused on him finger fucking that beautiful hair. I love ya' bestie for helping me write this VERY IMPORTANT blog post too! Hugs & Loves!

7 comments:

*Stoli_Princess* said...

BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH OMFH i didnt even notice that!!! THat is complete FAIL!! LMAOOOO Pooor Rob! hes soo filthy rich and doesnt give a shit! where was that bitch stephanie, when shes out rockin her Coach or Prada bag, she need to get that man sum better clothes! The hobo look is ok when hes slummin it in UK but not on NATIONAL TV! Lmaooooo

~*savanablue*~ said...

Rob, if you need help shopping I'm there for you as for your ripped jeans Krysti said it..EPIC WIN!!! also, you need to stop lending your un ripped shirts to KStew...seriously. One more thing..Grunge is not back so don't revel in it M'Kay :)

Brina said...

Wow!! I must say I am not surprise at all. I don't know what it is about young rich and famous peeps. they got all this money and could be dress to the nines but instead they dress like homeless peeps. They could be shoppin at Sak's but they shop at goodwill. BAWAHAHAHA

With that being said. Rob could have just tripped that before going on set and didn't have time to change............NOT!!!!!!!

I know better then that. That boy don't give a shit about what he looks like or what people think of him. To be honest, I like that about him. He is himself and that is what is so appealing to me about him. Plus when he does clean up he cleans THE FUCK UP!! And he is SO FUCKHOT it makes my panties go ((((poof))) BEGONE!!! thanks Rob for being you.

Awww, bestie I love you and your fuckin blog!!

nextstopsf said...

Well well from some one who has done wardrobe consulting in a past life...lol... I can think of a million ways to undress... I mean dress Rob- but he is who he is-- I am afraid when he starts to really care about that shit- he will be less interesting - less self-deprecating - which I find VERY charming and enduring! So bestie- I appreciate what you are saying and completely get the point of the importance of what he represents but.... that said... you know I love him HARD the way he is!! P.S. That suit on the view was win win win especially the pants!! ;) XOXO

打扮 said...

祝福你人氣不減ˊˇˋ........................................

Bouncy72 said...

Brina ...You couldn't have said this any better! "That boy don't give a shit about what he looks like or what people think of him. To be honest, I like that about him. He is himself and that is what is so appealing to me about him. Plus when he does clean up he cleans THE FUCK UP!! And he is SO FUCKHOT it makes my panties go ((((poof))) BEGONE!!! thanks Rob for being you."
Krys I definately think he needs to sign a contract binding him to the "Ripped Crotch Rule", hehehe.
Thanks for another hilarious post ;)

Bouncy72 said...

Hey I just noticed your Remember Me countdown still says 17 hrs. Ours is released in 5hrs & 40 mins? *shrug*
Oh well have a good day :)
Oh & BOSTONGIRL good catch on the sleeve, to be honest I was distracted by the hand in the hair too :P

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