If you follow this blog AT ALL, you know that I am a total
Rob/Edward hair hoor and that I have a very serious, admitted hair fetish.
If you know me, even a little bit, you know that I am in a full blown hair-gate freak out right now. WTF was that nasty greasy, alfalfa, curly thing stuck to his greasy forehead , hair do, FUCKERY!? This is unacceptable. This is NOT SOF (sex on fire)!
This was a TUX event Rob…don’t you know that T-U-X spells SEX ON FIRE??
WTH is wrong with you?
We go through months and months looking at you dressed like a damn hobo. You wear dirty frankenpants, and holey Stoli shirts, and broken down Nike’s but as robessed freaks, we deal with it and love you anyway. We accept it and wait patiently for the moments, few and far between, when you go to an awards show or premiers and have to put on a suit.
THIS WAS ONE OF THOSE OCCASIONS…and what do you do???
You show up looking like NERDWARD! WTF??
Honestly Rob, I am sick and tired of waiting anxiously in front of my damn laptop, for hours on end, to catch a quick glimpse of you, only to get this! C’mon…throw a girl a bone already!
I am just over it. Honestly, what the hell is your problem?
Do you remember when he used to show up at events looking all yummy, with sex hair, and that little glimmer in his eye, with that panty dropper smirk? Do you remember Sex Drive, Rome Rob, Cannes Rob?
Is my love CONDITIONAL you ask…HELL YEAH!
I don’t know you personally, so your looks are all I have. I believe that at least half of what you say in interviews is either scripted, or total bullshit that you’re is expected to say, or total bullshit that you say to get us riled up. So, as much as I love to see you in interviews (mostly to hear your voice), I still can’t say that I know you. So, yeah, the looks, the HAIR, the jaw, the smirk, the lips, the tongue…THAT’S IT baby!