Sunday, February 21, 2010

B-A-F-T-A Spells HAIR FAIL!


If you follow this blog AT ALL, you know that I am a total
Rob/Edward hair hoor and that I have a very serious, admitted hair fetish.


If you know me, even a little bit, you know that I am in a full blown hair-gate freak out right now. WTF was that nasty greasy, alfalfa, curly thing stuck to his greasy forehead , hair do, FUCKERY!? This is unacceptable. This is NOT SOF (sex on fire)!

This was a TUX event Rob…don’t you know that T-U-X spells SEX ON FIRE??
WTH is wrong with you?

We go through months and months looking at you dressed like a damn hobo. You wear dirty frankenpants, and holey Stoli shirts, and broken down Nike’s but as robessed freaks, we deal with it and love you anyway. We accept it and wait patiently for the moments, few and far between, when you go to an awards show or premiers and have to put on a suit.

THIS WAS ONE OF THOSE OCCASIONS…and what do you do???
You show up looking like NERDWARD! WTF??

Honestly Rob, I am sick and tired of waiting anxiously in front of my damn laptop, for hours on end, to catch a quick glimpse of you, only to get this! C’mon…throw a girl a bone already!

I am just over it. Honestly, what the hell is your problem?

Do you remember when he used to show up at events looking all yummy, with sex hair, and that little glimmer in his eye, with that panty dropper smirk? Do you remember Sex Drive, Rome Rob, Cannes Rob?



Is my love CONDITIONAL you ask…HELL YEAH!

I don’t know you personally, so your looks are all I have. I believe that at least half of what you say in interviews is either scripted, or total bullshit that you’re is expected to say, or total bullshit that you say to get us riled up. So, as much as I love to see you in interviews (mostly to hear your voice), I still can’t say that I know you. So, yeah, the looks, the HAIR, the jaw, the smirk, the lips, the tongue…THAT’S IT baby!


The way I see it, I spend hundreds of hours and thousands of dollars to support you and everything cotton pickin’ thing you do. I buy multiple movie tickets and dvd’s of movies that I don’t even care to see only because you are in it. I buy the mags your in, I even write a damn blog about you. And what do you do to repay me? You show up with your hair shellacked like some 1950’s George McFly wanna’ be! Hello….McFlyyyyy!!!!!






Well, I find it unacceptable and to show how mad I am I am boycotting you, Rob. How long you ask? Well, I don’t know…probably just until tomorrow, but still…I’m mad right now and I am pouting about it. I even changed my twitter avi to Kellan so THERE!



4 comments:

~*savanablue*~ said...

This hair is fucking fail...he needs a handler, publicist and a stylist, shit does his mother know that he left the house looking like this?

Brina said...

OMFG, You mean don't like his greasy monkey, gay ass curl on his shiney fuckin forehead, he forgot what water, shampoo, conditioner and comb in even look like hair style????? BAWAHAHAHA. I am not a big fan of his hair! *ducks head as purple heels flys at my face* Don't get me wrong I love it sometimes all freshly finger fucked. But most of the time I just wanna wash it. I just wash scrub it and clean it and put cornroles in it. *laughs* Just kidding about the cornroles Maybe cause my mom is a hairdress and I HATE GREASEY UNKEPT hair. But seriously sometimes he looks like SAMBA from the Lion King. LOL Ahh, Krys, I love you so much. You and your hair hoors blog bring so much joy in my life. Thanks. But look at it this way, at least he has shaved. Could you image if he had shown up with that GrizzlyAdams and that Grease Monkey Gayass curl in the face with a tux on. *VOMITS* On that thought I am done

Bouncy72 said...

*stifles giggle* Oh Krys, poor Rob. You can't boycott him, lol...Who knows, maybe he's the first stages of a nervous breakdown *frowns*
Lol, I have to admit I WILL also join the boycott if he ever decides to shave his head.
Hmm Rome Robs hair was just a little to long. Cannes Robs hair was nice & New Moon Premier Robs hair even better :)
Thanks for the post...Hopefully he'll decide to go commando & then invest in some hair wash instead of undies.

nextstopsf said...

Ahh -- so many rules for our Rob...lol....
I understand my bestie likes him her way and her way only...seriously we all do. I will say that this look is NOT a fav of mine ...like I am not a fan really of outwardly geeky or greasy Rob but that said- I love inwardly geeky Rob in interviews. So to be clear, because of what appears to be my hopeless addiction to Rob, I would still hike the happy trail of this one greasy or not, we would just start out in the shower... XO <3 u!

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